Social Anxiety

Feeling nervous in social situations is common, particularly when meeting new people, speaking in front of a group, starting a new school or job, or entering an unfamiliar environment. Social anxiety becomes more concerning when the fear of being judged, embarrassed, rejected, or doing something wrong begins to interfere with everyday life. For some people, this leads to avoiding social situations altogether. Others participate but experience significant anxiety before, during, and after the interaction.

At Long Island Mental Health & Wellness, we work with children, adolescents, young adults, and adults who experience social anxiety. Treatment is individualized and focuses not only on reducing anxiety, but also on helping people feel more comfortable navigating relationships and social situations in ways that are meaningful to them.

Understanding Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can affect many different areas of life. A child may be reluctant to raise their hand in class, ask a teacher for help, attend a birthday party, or join a group of peers. A teenager may avoid school activities, presentations, dating, eating in front of others, or situations in which they worry about being noticed or evaluated. Young adults and adults may struggle with college, job interviews, meetings, workplace interactions, friendships, dating, or other situations that require them to interact with unfamiliar people.

Avoidance often provides immediate relief, which can make it tempting to continue avoiding uncomfortable situations. Over time, however, a person’s world can become increasingly limited. Someone may turn down opportunities, withdraw from relationships, rely on others to speak for them, or spend significant amounts of time anticipating an interaction or reviewing it afterward. Treatment helps identify these patterns and gradually build the confidence and skills needed to approach situations that have become difficult.

Social Anxiety in Children and Teens

Social anxiety in young people can sometimes be mistaken for shyness, lack of motivation, or simply being quiet. Some children genuinely prefer smaller groups or need more time to feel comfortable around new people, and this does not necessarily require treatment. The important question is whether anxiety is preventing a child or teen from doing things they want or need to do.

Parents may notice that their child avoids activities, has difficulty separating from familiar people in social settings, worries excessively about what peers think, or becomes distressed before school or social events. Some young people want friendships but feel unsure about how to initiate or maintain them. Others have the social skills they need but find that anxiety prevents them from using those skills comfortably.

Treatment may involve helping a young person better understand their anxiety, recognize patterns of avoidance, develop coping strategies, and gradually practice navigating difficult situations. Parents can also play an important role in learning how to support their child without unintentionally reinforcing avoidance.

Social Anxiety and Neurodivergence

Social anxiety can be particularly complex for autistic individuals and others with neurodevelopmental differences. A person may experience genuine anxiety about social interactions while also having differences in communication, sensory processing, social understanding, or the amount of energy required to navigate social environments. Previous experiences of being misunderstood, excluded, corrected, or bullied can also contribute to anxiety in future social situations.

For this reason, we do not assume that every social difficulty needs to be treated as anxiety or that successful treatment means appearing more socially typical. It is important to understand why a person is uncomfortable and what they actually want to change. For one person, the goal may be feeling comfortable initiating conversations or developing friendships. For another, it may be advocating for their needs, participating in school or work, or learning how to manage anxiety without feeling pressure to mask aspects of themselves.

Our Approach to Treatment

Treatment for social anxiety is tailored to the individual. Depending on a person’s needs, our clinicians may incorporate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, exposure-based strategies, behavioral interventions, social learning approaches, and parent or family involvement.

An important part of treatment is often helping people gradually approach situations they have been avoiding. This is done collaboratively and at a pace that allows the individual to develop confidence rather than simply pushing them into uncomfortable situations. Therapy may also address fears of judgment, perfectionism, self-criticism, difficulty tolerating uncertainty, and the tendency to repeatedly analyze social interactions after they occur.

For some individuals, social anxiety occurs alongside generalized anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, autism, or other concerns. Understanding how these experiences interact allows treatment to address the whole person rather than focusing on a single symptom or diagnosis.

Getting Started

Social anxiety can become increasingly limiting when avoidance begins to shape decisions about school, work, friendships, relationships, or everyday activities. With appropriate support, children, teens, and adults can learn to better understand their anxiety and become more comfortable participating in the parts of life that matter to them.

Long Island Mental Health & Wellness provides individualized treatment for social anxiety and related concerns. Contact our office to learn more about our services or to discuss which clinician may be the best fit for you or your child.